Project: Be a Decent Human Being

It seems like every time we try to elicit change, via the best of intentions, we swing too far in the opposite direction. Crime is bad. Let's take away guns. Rape is bad. Let's shame everyone who promotes women protecting themselves, because they shouldn't have to. Bullying is bad. Let's punish even those children who take a stand and act in self defense. I agree those things are bad, but the actions people want taken to solve these problems aren't viable solutions.

No, people shouldn't have to invent things like bulletproof blankets to protect kids in school. No, women shouldn't have to watch their backs and worry about sexual assault around every corner. No, children shouldn't have to worry about being bullied or pushed around in school. But if that's the way we think, I also shouldn't have to lock my door at night. I shouldn't have to teach my children about stranger danger. I shouldn't have to teach them that drugs are bad. I shouldn't have to do and teach so many things. But promoting that it's wrong to teach people to stand up for themselves, that it's wrong to take precautions, that it's wrong to protect themselves because the world shouldn't be the way that it is isn't going to solve the problem. Those attitudes are going to create a population of naive and angry people. It's going to open the door to people who will take control at any cost because people will trade freedom for safety at any cost. It's going to fill prisons full of innocent people because we can't take the chance of letting a single monster go.

I don't blame the people who promote these flawed attitudes. They're seeking a better way of life. They see problems and they're trying to fix it. They're taking action and that's what we need. We need people willing to take action, people who are willing to take a stand. But let's take a stand by promoting better versions of ourselves. Let's guide by example.

If we want a better society, we need not focus all our efforts into gun control laws and wave-riding public shaming at each social media frenzy (don't get me wrong, social media can be a great place to elicit change). But if we truly want things to be better, we need more understanding and forgiveness and less activism. We need more education and less blaming. We need more empathy and less self-entitlements. We need to promote ideas like service and selflessness are the keys to fighting depression and general feelings of discontent. Let's promote ideas like taking responsibility for our actions and our situation instead of blaming other people or society as a whole. One shooter in California placed blame on the women who spurned him too many times and even the men around him who had success in the areas where he failed. He never stopped to look at himself and ask, is it maybe something I'm doing wrong? And when we turned to his family to find out what went wrong, his father blamed politicians for not enacting harsher gun control laws. At the risk of being harsh and judgmental, I ask, where do you think the shooter learned to place blame?

So here is my call to action...

Educate yourselves. Educate your family, your friends, your neighbors. Share your knowledge and skills. The more educated and trained people we have, the more people we have with the ability to contribute to society. And train them how to use those skills for the good of everyone (some of the best criminals are the best because they're using their skills for evil).

Don't judge. Just because you see a situation and you think you know what's going on doesn't mean you do. Every person's situation is different even if they share similarities with others. I think everyone hopes that people will be understanding of their flaws. If we want that for ourselves, we have to offer it to others first.

 Rafiki has all the answers.

Forgive. We're seeking change. We can't achieve change if we never give anyone the opportunity to change. And forgive because holding a grudge is even more detrimental to you than it is to the one you're denying forgiveness.

Think before you speak. It's so easy now for words to become permanent. And they can be damaging--to the speaker and the ones being spoken of. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Ask yourself these questions these questions before you open your mouth. (or post. or tweet. or blog. etc.)

Read. Read anything and everything you can. Reading enhances vocabulary, makes people think, exposes them to a world outside of their own and most importantly, it promotes empathy. Studies show that the repetitive process of viewing the world through another's eyes even if that person is fictional enables people to transfer that ability into their lives and be more understanding.

See outside yourself. Realize that everyone is going through something you may not understand. Realize that just because something is easy for you, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. And that person you see as weak because they can't overcome something that's easy for you, is strong in areas that you haven't even learned to crawl in.

Serve others. There is no medicine, no therapy stronger and more effective than doing something kind for someone else. There is a reason that videos and stories of people doing something kind for someone else goes viral. We spread it around because it brings a smile to our face or tears to our eyes. It's a chemical release of happiness. It embodies hope and encourages other people to want to do the same.

We need to teach people that violence is not the answer. We need to teach people that no means no regardless of what the person looks like, how they act, or what their past says about them. We need to teach people to be better to others. But let's not take away our ability to protect ourselves while we work on fixing these problems. Our problems lie deeper than what laws and legislation can fix. The problems lie within ourselves and what kind of lifestyles we promote. To enact a solution, let's dig a little deeper. Let's be decent human beings.